What’s the Dirtiest Sketch in Philadelphia?
Well, last night it was about necrophilia but that’s a loaded answer.
The 2nd Annual Dirtiest Sketch in Philly is a tacky, drunken journey into the underbelly of comedy. Where nothing is ‘too soon’ and there are no sacred cows. Philly sketch comedians enter into a filthy competition where the only real winner is bad taste.
Lots of live performance in the city, I stumble into some kind of side show vaudeville or sketch comedy thing at least once a week so I was pretty familiar with the foul mouths in competition. Defending champions Secret Pants along with Meg and Rob, The Sixth Borough, John Kensil, Doogie Horner, $5 cover and $1 PBR. That’s a formula for hilarity right there.
Host Don Montrey lets you know up front that just by being here you’ve agreed it’s OK to laugh at what comes next and it’s OK for everyone else to laugh and no one can get mad or offended or start a class action law suit. If you don’t like it get the fuck out now. Then he fed his shit to an audience member.
The guest panel of judges included Philadelphia Quizzomaster Johnny Goodtimes, co-host of the Peek-A-Boo Revue Scott Johnson and Adam Gertler, announced as the real celebrity of the bunch, he’s currently appearing on The Next Food Network Star. Contestants were graded on dirtiness, funniness and douche chilliness.
That last one had to be explained for the audience. I spend almost 28 hours a day watching porn and I had no idea what Doug meant. Apparently it’s something so horrible it causes you to recoil but NOT look away. You hate it and are intoxicated by it all at once. Hope I got that right.
General sketch topics included cunts, cum and coprophilia. Lot’s of period and tampon jokes, too. Extra credit to any comedian who chewed on one. The dick slapping fight didn’t go so well but those things rarely do. The best bits stuck to their themes; diseased penises or Bible Camp, but non sequitur rape jokes with actual nudity really cranked up the douche chilliness.
Any time you go down to thong and pasties it’s an automatic second place. Doesn’t even matter what the contest is.
Secret Pants scored a repeat of last year’s victory with the defilement of Heath Ledger’s bloated drugged out body while Meg and Rob took third with the best incest joke all night. Sixth Borough got edged out despite their amazing NPR Gone Wild skit featuring a spot on Terry Gross impression… if Terry Gross was sexually attracted to Nazi’s.
Guess you had to be there.
Make sure you are next year.
Johnny Zito is a writer/cartoonist/designer who lives in a big house with three of his childhood friends where they bake cup cakes, jump on beds and stay up real late reading comic books.
