The Spirit’s Femme Fatales
Wasn’t expecting it for another week but FilmSchoolRejects dropped The Spirit trailer today. It’s another super hero movie but this one is real pulp, noir and (apparently) sexy. It’s about a cop who fakes his death to clean up New York City with nothing more than his brains and blue suit.
In addition to the masked crime fighter’s arch nemesis, The Octopus played by Sam Jackson, the cast is rounded out by some smoking celebrities. Ya see, The Spirit likes women. I mean he really likes women. James Bond has nothing on this guy. Check out the trailer if you don’t believe me. Everyone only says it like 50 times.
He’s got a lot of notches on the bed post, we get it. His most famous femme fatales, including Sand Saref, Ellen Dolan, Silken Floss, and Lorelei, are all going to be crammed into this big screen adaptation. It might be a lot to wrap your brain around since the blood will be mostly… elsewhere.
So, here’s your primer on The Spirit’s Super Sexy Sidekicks:
Eva Mendes plays Sand Saref, The Spirit’s old flame from before he was a famous super hero. After a series of unfortunate events (including the death of her boyfriend - A certain New York City cop), she leaves the City and turns to a life of crime.
Ms. Floss, played by Scarlett Johansson, is the right-hand-woman to The Octopus. She fancies donning various costumes and disguises, like her master, and me when I’m all alone at night and the comic books just aren’t enough to keep me from falling off the deep end of loneliness; into a world of improv cosplay.
Up next is Sarah Paulson as Ellen Dolan, The Spirit’s main squeeze. She is also the daughter of Central City’s Police Chief, Commissioner Dolan. She’s kinda ‘plain jane’ in comparison to the other ladies. I’m sure The Spirit appreciates that this one won’t try to gut him and steal his wallet after sex though.
Jaime King, best known for playing the sisters Goldie and Wendy in Sin City, is Lorelei Rox. Although only appearing once in the comics, Lorelei was one of the more memorable bad girls in The Spirit’s lil black book. Singing a hypnotic song that mesmerizes her victims, this statuesque woman almost caused The Spirit to come to grief.
BONUS
Not included in The Spirit movie is, perhaps, his most famous femme fatale of all; P’Gell.
Her marriage to the renegade Nazi, Hans Dammt, with whom she had escaped to Turkey, was short lived. She promptly had him killed for a $1,000,000 reward for war crimes… the story ended with her marrying Emil Petit, who had arranged the assassination.
Originally seen in foreign locales in the Middle East and South America, P’Gell eventually emigrated to State Side to attempt a respectable life. Marrying a gentleman named Mr. Raymond and becoming headmistress of an exclusive girls’ school (I can’t imagine why people thought comics were subversive in the 40’s). After he inevitably joined the ranks of the deceased, she inherited his estate and took his orphaned daughter under her wing as a crook in training.
P’Gell went on to marry shipping magnate Ellis Murdoch in the tale of “The 7th Husband.” The two embarked on a gun-running career selling contraband “atomic rifles” to Asian warlord King Kwang; by the end, to no surprise, Ellis is killed. “Ah well,” smirked P’Gell, “I still have my assets!”
Bitch.
Johnny Zito is a writer/cartoonist/designer who lives in a big house with three of his childhood friends where they bake cup cakes, jump on beds and stay up real late reading comic books.
