Superman Returns… Again…
Apparently Grant Morrison and some other comic names got to pitch Superman Movie reboots to Warners at that big film pow wow after Iron Man but before Dark Knight. Not gonna lie, I’m a lil jealous no one asked for my opinions. 
Actually the night before we left for San Diego I tried to keep my mind off the plane trip by typing up my ‘ideal’ Superman flick. Since no one at Warner Brothers cares to hear it I figure I’ll throw it up here.
The Superman: Man of Action
Directed by: Terry Gilliam
Sound Track by: The Flaming Lips
Starring: Peter Gallagher, Joan Allen and Terry O’Quinn
The whole story is from Lois Lane’s perspective. She’s this cynical journalist for the Daily Planet who doesn’t believe in honest politicians or innocent bystanders. For the last year she’s heard rumors of a costumed strong man playing hero in Suicide Slums. Eye witnesses claim This Superman has powers far beyond those of mortal men. Lois aims to prove it’s all tourist trap/urban legend nonsense.
That sets up a Citizen Kane structured plot where Lois investigates The Superman by talking to people who claim to have encountered him during rescue or incarceration. The interviews provide opportunity for flashbacks in which characters describe their personal recollections of The Superman.
Instead of toying with ‘how’ people remember it I’d rather draw a juxtaposition to the normalcy of ‘real life’ and when Superman is actually on screen. When an interviewee describes their experience and Superman arrives, whatever fantastic action is taking place is larger than life, fuller, grander. Their world is suddenly bigger and brighter when a man who can defy physics is standing within a few feet. His presence has a way of altering probability and possibility towards the fantastic.
The Superman is always moving too. He literally is a man of action. When he arrives there are no flowery words, just amazing feats of super human ability. We’ll see in the flashbacks that he’s a good guy through and through. He’ll let the villain get away to save a life. He doesn’t have a problem taking out a crooked cop or saving a criminal from wrongful incarceration. Hes about righting wrongs and he’s genuine.
Lois starts to fall in love with the idealized image her sources are describing. She allows herself to believe more and more that it’s possible. That maybe a man can fly. That he helps people. That he does it just because he can.
In the course of her research she continually crosses paths with her mild mannered rival from the Daily Star, Clark Kent. His newspaper is looking for the exclusive too. He proposes they team up. Even though his ‘aww shucks’ attitude infuriates her Lois accepts, she thinks he’s a hayseed and that she’ll scoop him anyway. Kent is much smarter than he lets on, like Andy Griffith. He lets her think she’s getting away with something but he’s on to her.
Between interviews we get to know Lois and Clark. Clark seems like a schmuck and it becomes apparent that he has it hard for Lois. She’s gorgeous, smart and strong. However, Lois never looks him in the eye. She’s always reading a newspaper, jotting down notes or glancing at the sky to make sure The Superman doesn’t just happen to zoom by. She hardly notices that Clark keeps disappearing. She is that focused on Superman.
The only other person in the world obsessed as Lois Lane is Lex Luthor. Ex fortune capitalist, Ex Nobel Peace Prize Winner, Ex Olympian, ex President, current resident of Stryker’s Maximum Security Prison off the coast of Metropolis. Lex used to be the most famous and respected person in the world. In truth he was an evil psychopath that preyed on his fellow man to fuel his own wild ambitions. Reports are sketchy and Lex aint talking but rumor has it The Superman brought him to Justice.
Over the course of her investigation Lex’s name keeps coming up. It turns out he is eager to speak with Lois Lane. Lois ditches Clark for the exclusive interview. It’s conducted between glass; Hannibal Lector style. He’s tall, fit, bald since childhood - some traumatic/repressed event one suspects.
During the course of their tense exchange Lex reveals that he believes The Superman to be no man at all. He insists the mystery hero is an alien. Only an alien could have bested Lex Luthor because Lex is the epitome of humanity. There is no human, alive or dead, that can compete with his talents or accomplishments.
Lois says it sounds a little far fetched but her inner cynic is taking over. Lex is actually making sense to her.
That sets up my third act which is Lex’s escape from prison and murder of what he deems an alien invader. Lois tags along in an effort to uncover the truth about her super powered infatuation. Then we see The Superman on screen in ‘actual’ time for the first time as he and Lex come head to head. Again; when Superman is on screen everything is brighter, fuller, more exaggerated.
Lex is very prepared to murder The Superman from bringing disgrace to him and having him caged like a common criminal. Laws don’t apply to him, not those of man and certainly not the strong arm judgments of a gaudy alien. Using a booby trapped city as his weapon, Lex Luthor lures The Superman into a trap.
Lex’s spent a fortune on eBay and countless hours on message boards but he knows all about the Superman’s past… and future. He knows more than the Superman. He breaks out some Kryptonite, just the tiniest sliver, and it sends The Superman into radioactive seizures.
That’s when Lois steps in and saves the Man of Steel’s life by choosing a side and choosing to believe despite what Lex Luthor says. The Superman is not an invader he’s a hero. Lois attacks Lex. He loses the Kryptonite down the sewer. The Superman isn’t very super yet but he and Lex come to blows now. Like two men in the street, equally matched in strength they have it out.
Obviously Superman wins and then summoning everything he has he leaps into the sky and leaves Lex to be recaptured by the police. The Superman needs a running start and Lois buys him time with the cops so he can built his momentum and take flight.
Lois Lane speeds back to the Daily Planet to file this amazing story. When she gets to her editors’ office, a complete mess from her adventure, she finds rival Clark Kent there. He’s sold The Planet an exclusive interview in exchange for a job. While Lois was tagging along with Lex, Kent had tracked down The Superman for an interview. There’s even a picture.
Lois and Clark go out for coffee. She’s a lil bummed. She’s fallen hard for this Superman character now that she’s seen him in person. She asks Clark if he thinks Superman will remember her. Clark thinks there’s a strong possibility he might.
She goes home to get a shower and finds a sticky note on the window of her 31st floor apartment ‘thanks for the save, Ms. Lane.’ She lifts the window and sticks her whole torso out to look for him. He’s flying up, up and away into the distant setting sun.
The End.
I would avoid all the Krypton origins and Smallville stuff. Or showing it at least. The less we see of them the more ‘fantastic’ Superman’s feats will be.
I imagine this as part of three movies (duh, what isn’t now a days?). Man of Action, Man of Steel and Man of Tomorrow. Action is this psuedo origin with Lois as our entry point. Steel focuses on Luthor’s rise and fall Godfather II style. Man of Tomorrow introduces the twist ending and focuses on the mysteries of Jor-El and ‘Krypton’.
I just don’t think you can do a paint by numbers for Superman mass media anymore. It needs to be bigger, not just in terms of villains or actions, I mean in themes and ideas. It needs to be like a fairy tale from the future.
-Johnny Zito
