The Informed Nonsense of Johnny Zito

I’m sure they were in no rush to return the tuxes.
-Johnny Zito

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I was gonna do Elvis-Jesus but then Elvis Costello showed up and ruined the whole thing.
-Johnny Zito

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South Philly is the coolest. I’ve lived here all my life.
-Johnny Zito

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I’m not much for Birthdays but a good slice of cake always makes me happy.
Tasker House is one year old. Congratulations and thanks to my friends who participate - You guys rule.
-Johnny Zito

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Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer is just a cave man, he fell in some ice and later got thawed out by our scientists. Our world frighten and confuses him. When he sees a solar eclipse, like the one he went to in Hawaii last year, he thinks “Oh no! Is the sun eating the moon?” […]

This doubles as my submission to The New Yorker’s Draw Eustace Tilley Contest.
Hipsters are the modern day dandy.
-Johnny Zito

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Thanks to all the friends and family who turned out for our New Year’s Eve Party. If you did make it, there are probably some pictures of you in your dapper duds sipping champagne from a T-Rex’s taint. Everyone’s invited to take a look at the House Album. Feel free […]

It started out trying to be funny but wound up deeply personal.
Happy New Year,
-Johnny Zito

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So, a strange elf-man breaks into your house in the middle of the night and invites you to look into his magical sack.
He promises there’s a surprise in there for you.
-Johnny Zito

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Montgomery was a terrible straight man and the Burn Brothers reunion tour never took off.
-Johnny Zito

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